Horror-fying Books | What If These Books Were Horror Novels?

Posted October 23, 2015 by Carlisa in Bookish Thoughts, Events / 20 Comments

BTOTsign4

Today I am lucky enough to be a part of Great Imagination’s annual Blogger Trick or Treat. AND I AM SO EXCITED *squeals*. The purpose of this event is just to have a daily Halloween post on different blogs for a week. We’ll share some candy with you in each post and then, at the end of the week, you can enter Great Imagination’s giveaway using the candy we gave you. [Disclaimer: I am not actually sending you a piece of candy. I apologize profusely for this] SO, it’s bound to be really fun.

But it’s also very open-ended for us bloggers. A Halloween post. That’s the only rule. And I’m the worst ever at making decisions so this draft sat open and empty for quite some time. But, alas, I have thought of something. Just this past Tuesday in my YA lit class, we were talking about Postmodernism and what books today fall under this category. If you don’t know, Postmodernism is a trend where authors or artists attempt to break the barriers of convention. So you can get some pretty weird stuff. But we talked about the book Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, the book that took the original Pride and Prejudice and just threw zombies in there. [Psttttt, if you haven’t seen the trailer for the movie yet, go check it out because it looks amazing.] I haven’t read this book yet (emphasis on “yet”) but it got me thinking. How would some normal, everyday books translate into horror novels? *cracks knuckles* Let’s do this.


 

if i stayIf I Stay = If I Slay by Gayle Forman

Mia is a beautiful and talented girl. She loves to play cello and she loves her family and she is overall very charming. She meets a boy named Adam and she is immediately swept up in his rocker-boy ways. But when she starts applying for Julliard, he starts distancing himself from her…and then, one night, he cheats on her with her best friend and Mia catches them red-handed. Adam is embarrassed by his actions, but Mia is distraught. She begs her family to leave on vacation; she just needs to get away from this town and from Adam. But then…then there’s a car accident that leaves all of Mia’s family dead and Mia in the hospital. Adam comes to visit her, sits down, and grabs her hand. Mia opens her eyes and looks at him, knowing it’s the fault of this boy that her entire family is dead. But she gets up and pretends like everything is fine, pretends like he didn’t just take away everything she loved.

She invites him and her best friend over for a dinner, to show that she has “forgiven” them. While preparing the meal, she adds just a few drops of arsenic into each of their drinks…

*Later*

Mia pulls out her cello and starts playing, smiling to herself as she serenades the two dead bodies on the floor.


mary poppins

Mary Poppins = Scary Poppins by P. L. Travers

Jane and Michael are two siblings that love to play in London. Their father needs help raising them so he hires a nanny to take care of the two of them: Mary Poppins. She seems like an alright nanny, she is strict but treats the kids well…until it’s time for their medicine. She adds a spoonful of sugar to help their medicine go down, but what she doesn’t tell them is that she also adds a spoonful of, well, something else. The kids go to bed and when they wake up, strange things start happening. The day is like a nightmare, filled with horrific, giant penguins, constantly pecking down at them; a carousel with crazy-eyed horses whose neighing gets louder and louder and louder and the carousel quickly spins and spins and spins, faster and faster and faster until the two children are holding on for their lives; and a room where a man who calls himself Uncle Albert chases them and when they scream from fear, they lift into the air and are unable to get back down. All the while, Mary Poppins walks them along, smiling and humming ever so softly to herself.

When they return home, the children are terrified and cannot stop crying. “Time for your medicine,” Mary Poppins trills. Switching from the dose of hallucinogen she had given them the previous night, Mary adds poison . “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go dooooown!” she sings.

And then she opens her umbrella and flies into the night.


 

tfiosTFIOS = The Fault in Our Stabs by John Green

Cancer is the worst. It kills the best and the worst of people. But sometimes it brings two people together. When Hazel’s friend Isaac introduces her to Augustus at a cancer support group, they click instantly and soon find themselves falling in love with each other, despite their health struggles.

Isaac’s girlfriend, Monica, breaks up with him after he loses his eyes to the cancer. He becomes deeply depressed; he can no longer see and the most important person in his life abandoned him. Augustus and Hazel offer to help him feel better and they drive to Monica’s house. Augustus and Hazel wanted to egg her house, but Isaac had a different idea. He has Augustus walk him to the front door. “Go back to the car,” Isaac whispers urgently to him. Augustus looks hesitant but then walks back to the car.

Monica opens the door slowly. “Isaac?” she asks, carefully. It’s then that she sees the knife in his hand and gasps…

*A few minutes later*

Isaac walks slowly back to the car, his walking stick going back and forth on the pavement. Augustus and Hazel haven’t been paying attention to what was going on, too lost in each other’s eyes. When he reaches them, they look up and horror fills their faces as they see the blood on his shirt. They love each other like no one will ever love me, he thinks to himself. He raises the knife. “Okay?” he asks, one more time…

[NOTE: My roommate Abby wants it known that she came up with the title “The Fault in Our Stabs”]


 

THE END. Those got kind of weird, I know. I was hoping to try to incorporate some type of zombie or vampire thing, but I couldn’t figure out a good one. I thought of the title Wuthering Bites (or perhaps Wuthering Frights) but the story is already kind of dark enough that it would be too much to make it darker. And the Mary Poppins was kind of a stretch, but I couldn’t let go of Scary Poppins.

Anyways, if you’re here for the Blogger Trick or Treat, my candy of choice is…(drum roll please) HEATH BAR. Seriously, it’s so good. It melts my heart into a little melted pile of chocolate and English toffee.

Okay, thank you for visiting! Let me know what you thought of my (weird) horror-fied books. Can you think of any other good books that are dying to be horror-fied? Puns are appreciated in this situation. Who am I kidding? Puns are appreciated always. Especially by me.


  • I have never heard of a Heath Bar?!! It sounds delicious, though. I really like Wuthering Bites. LOL I tried to think of one, but I came up blank. OH! What about… Lola and the Vampire Next Door? Or… Anna and the Vampire Bite? HAHAHA I’m so lame.

    • Hahahahah YES. I actually considered Anna and the Kiss of Death, but I didn’t know how to make a story out of that. And you’re not lame, you’re great. And we have a very similar sense of humor, which is awesome.

      • I love Anna and the Kiss of Death!

        • I liked it too but I didn’t know where to take the story! 😮 The only thing I think of with the Kiss of Death is dementors from Harry Potter…

          • Which honestly would have been hilarious, now that I think about it.

    • Maraia

      I love it, Sarah! And Heath Bars really are delicious. Especially in ice cream. 😀

  • Nancy Kay Cramer

    Ha ha!! I loved Scary Poppins!! Wasn’t too far off the original movie!

  • Maraia

    These are great! Scary Poppins made me laugh out loud.

    • Hahaha, I know. I didn’t know how to make that one really scary, but I tried to make it like a child’s nightmare? I don’t know.

      • Maraia

        It sounds scary to me!

  • Nikki, Amy Zeigler

    Oh my gosh, I laughed so hard at this. Who would have ever thought of Scary Poppins? 🙂 This is a totally cool idea.
    -Amy

    • My roommate thought of it first, I’m not going to lie. She also proposed the idea “Bloody Mary Poppins” but that sounded too creepy and eeky for my taste 😮

  • Oh my god you did a marvellous job, I couldn’t help but start laughing out loud at some of these. I bet If I Slay would be a better novel than the original. You should write slapstick horror stories, you definitely have a talent for this.

  • Great concept – you did an admirable job

  • Lyn Kaye

    Mary Poppins is creepy as hell! Also, I wanted to pass this along to you – it popped into my head when I read this:

    • Oh my gosh, that was terrifying,